First Date

Reconnecting in a "post-pandemic" (we're still in a pandemic) world.

I went on a first date this week. With my husband. It was the first time since October of 2019 we had gone out socially without our son, and the first time since before Asher was born that we have been on a date that didn’t involve us being wedding guests. Asher’s almost five years old, by the way, so it’s been a while.

There are two reasons why Avi and I haven’t gone out for “us” time. Reason number one is the first time I left Asher home alone with the nanny (who had been caring for him for several hours a day while I worked from home) something very bad happened that landed Asher in a plastic surgeon’s office, and landed me in therapy. EMDR therapy, to be exact. Holding your screaming, squirming eleven month old baby in your arms while a doctor sews stitches into his face leaves so many scars.

Secondly, Covid lock-down happened the week after Asher turned two, so that accounted for a couple years of date-lessness. Being confined in small quarters during that time had its blessings (more time with Asher than we would’ve otherwise had) and its curses (juggling the work/childcare schedule). That sort of thing isn’t always easy on the ol’ relationship. And while we were very fortunate that we were in a cozy home, were able to order groceries and stream movies in our pajamas, and have Zoom cocktail hours with dear friends, there were also plenty of stresses. I’m sure you had them, too. And here we all are, on the other side…sort of. Moving forward.

Now, by my calculations, the cost of a sitter for a weekly date night is roughly the cost of one couple’s therapy session. No contest! Date nights sound like a lot more fun, so we’re starting there. For the record, I’m a fan of therapy. I’ve been in therapy ever since the above mentioned incident. The EMDR did what it was supposed to do, and my therapist and I have moved on to other things. Incidentally, if you’re curious about the whole EMDR experience, let me know. I’m a big fan, and happy to share.

What was I saying? Oh yes, date night. The stars aligned and one of our son’s teachers agreed to babysit. He was so excited to have her come to our home that I was able to relax and feel excited myself.

Something I learned about my “post-pandemic” self while getting ready for our date: I no longer own eyeshadow. It must’ve been tossed during the Great Pandemic Purge of 2021.

Once Teacher Kim arrived, there were several hugs goodbye, and my date for the evening and I were off. My husband took me to the same French restaurant where he took me on our second date, back in 2008. *Insert happy weepy eyed emoji here*

After dinner, we noticed that neither of us checked the home camera app on our phones the entire night. That right there tells you how relaxed we were. Thank you, Teacher Kim. You are my angel.

It was a really nice night. Was it an evening of releasing years of pent-up romance? Not really, no. Did we talk about home and work stuff? Yes, a little. Did we talk about our son? Yes, a lot, happily. But I’m pretty confident that the more we date, and the more we get reacquainted with who we are aside from being parents, the more we’ll have to talk about. Being parents is a huge part of who we are, and maybe even the best part. But there’s more. A lot more. I’m looking forward to us having the chance to find each other, and ourselves, again.