Hey there! It’s been a minute. I sat down at my desk knowing what I wanted to say here today, and thought, “Let me have a quick look at my last few posts first.” Well, I’m nothing if not consistent, this note is along the lines of the last few.
I’ve shared with you Bruce Lee’s quote that stuck in my head from the moment I first read it: “It is not the daily increase, but the daily decrease, hack away at the unessential. The closer to the source, the less wastage there is.”
I’m going to start a little project/experiment. A Weekly Decrease. I’m going to start hacking away at what isn’t serving me, one thing at a time, one week at a time. Big things, little things, habits, old thoughts, relationships, that waayyy overpriced pair of jeans I special ordered during lockdown but have yet to wear.
So, this is week one! Do I start little, or big? There’s so much to choose from. Ha!
Okay, I’m going to start big. Really big. First, a bit of background. Last night, in the dark, all tucked into bed, she popped into my mind, as she often does. My dear friend since kindergarten. Our friendship remained solid through childhood, through our teen years, through moves to different towns to attend different colleges, through my dad’s passing, through her marriage and divorce, my wild 20s, her dad’s passing, our wild 30s, my marriage. And then as times changed, it became apparent we had different political leanings, differing beliefs on gun control. Then, one of us had fertility treatments, and one of us had a hysterectomy. The phone calls and texts became fewer and further between. Multiple invitations were declined. The one to my baby shower stung the most. But, I get it. I really do. Eventually, the phone calls and texts stopped. Finally, in 2023, Christmas cards and birthday cards, never missed in a lifetime of friendship, stopped. She’s quit me. It’s obvious. But, I still check the only social network I’m still on (IG) from time to time to see what she’s up to. To see that she’s doing okay. And then I go down the rabbit hole, looking at snapshots of her, her life, married to a nice guy, living in the town where we grew up. And I scroll and I scroll, pinch and enlarge, scroll some more. Happy for her, sad for me. And now, today, it’s time to let go.
We have each other’s mailing addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers. No, I’m not going to call her and hash it out. She’s made her intentions very obvious, and I don’t need to talk her into anything. I don’t even need to know exactly why. Something about me: I’ve always believed that closure happens within. No one and nothing can give it to me. So now, it’s time to let go of the sadness, and be happy for what was. She knows how to reach me if she needs me. And that’s enough.
So what exactly am I letting go of? Can you just let go of sadness? I don’t know about that, but deleting her from my social media is a start. Letting go of the rabbit hole that delays my sleep by a good hour or more, is a start.
So that’s it. My first weekly decrease. Deleting her profile from my IG, and letting go of my own personal doom scroll. As I type this, I’m pausing to grab my phone. 3-2-1…done.
By the way, it’s the Friday before Easter, and I’ll probably hop on the dreaded app to see all of the cuteness my friends and relatives post. I might have chosen an easier week to do this! Sheesh. Wish me luck!
Do you have anything you want to let go of this week? If you do, and if you feel comfortable discussing, let’s chat in the comments!
Okay, until next time!
xxJo
So beautifully written! Thank you for sharing and giving me something to ponder!! I’m sure there is something to let go of for me too! Letting go can bring freedom, space, points to ponder, all of which are part of growth!❤️
This can be such a hard process to go through. I commend your vulnerability and willingness to see a relationship realistically, as well as share it here. Accepting what is and assertively taking charge for yourself is emotional maturity.